Insecurities

I'm in love with an amazing guy. He's like the light of my world. I can't imagine not having him in my life. And yet, I'm letting my insecurities get in the way. Like usual. When I think he's mad at me of frustrated with me or something my mind automatically thinks that he will ponder about breaking up with me. I know he doesn't. We've talked about that..and I feel bad about thinking that. I would never break up with him. I love him too much.

There have been times when I have stopped and thought...does he really love me? He does. He's proved to me that he does. Some of the things he says to me, the way he looks at me, the way he holds me..I can just tell. There are a few other insecurities, but I'm not going to talk about them on here. They're more..personal. And I don't want some random creeper reading them.

He's going to be gone for two weeks. He leaves tomorrow. That makes me sad that I won't see him for that long..I don't even know when I'll get the chance to talk to him next. I want to apologize to him for my insecurities. They aren't his fault. I just need to deal with my past. But whenever I try to apologize he tells me that I say that too much or it's okay, don't worry about it. I just want him to listen and understand why I feel like I need to apologize.

I guess it is true that I do apologize too much, but I can't help it. That's just who I am. I don't do it as much as I used to though. But oh well, I guess. It's who I am.

We have such a good thing. I'm scared that I'm going to do something and screw it up. I shouldn't be because that could happen to anyone really so I'm not too concerned about that. I was at one time, like, a couple of monthes ago. But not anymore. But I guess I'll stop here. I'm going to try to make this a regular thing..maybe it will help with him being gone for so long. Anyways..See-ya.